


Should I Have To Lose Mine As Well?

by Madeline_Myrth



Category: Ancient Egyptian Religion, Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Multi, One Shot, Reimagining, Reincarnation, Unrequited Love, no happy ending, writing this hurt me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28409241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madeline_Myrth/pseuds/Madeline_Myrth
Summary: An alternate universe from my other story Draped and Stripped Away, which is a reimagining of Egyptian mythology and folklore centred around the relationship between Horus and Anubis.I would like to disclaim that while some things are grounded in factual mythology, the pairing of Anubis and Horus is definitely not true. I... don't even know how I started writing about these two.
Relationships: Anubis/Horus (Ancient Egyptian), Hathor/Horus (Ancient Egyptian), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 8





	Should I Have To Lose Mine As Well?

**Author's Note:**

> So the idea was that... Horus the Elder and Anubis were originally married. This Anubis being the original Lord of the Underworld, so they're both old. But when Osiris dies and Isis flees, Horus decides to reincarnate into her son. That's it. 
> 
> Not afraid of LEARNING COOTIES??? Go read the end notes :))))

He couldn't process what was coming out of his husband's mouth.

What he was saying was... absurd.

Anubis raises his hand to stop Horus from speaking further. "You wish to... what...?"

Horus purses his lips. "I wish to reincarnate as my sister's son."

Reincarnate. That meant losing his memories. His essence will be the same, but his person will not. That meant leaving him.

"You are not involved in their—their mess! They may be your siblings, but you have nothing to do with what has occurred! Let Isis settle her own vendettas!" Anubis crosses his arms andlooks Horus dead in the eye. He was serious about this.

The warm feeling of Horus cupping his face force his eyes downward. He feels guilty being so selfish, but this is one time he will not apologise.

"The murder of my older brother has been a shock to us all. Isis, his wife and my sister, is missing. She has hidden from all of us, and I worry about her. This is one way I may be able to protect her."

"She has lost her husband, should I have to lose mine as well?"

Anubis feels Horus gently guide his face to look at him. Those blue eyes, that only gazed at him with love and joy... were filled with sadness, but alongside sadness was determination to go through with his plan.

'He's already decided,' Anubis thinks bitterly, 'this is a goodbye.'

"Sweet one—"

Anubis swats away his hands from his cheeks. "Don't try to soften me up. You've already decided. I don't understand why you're telling me this as though you want my input."

Horus's hands fall to his waist and pulls him closer. Right now, Anubis doesn't have the resolve to push him away completely.

"I understand what I will be leaving behind.” Horus whispers quietly, stroking Anubis's back. He thinks he may cry. "And it wrenches my heart to leave you. It is the hardest decision I have to make. Please understand. Even I have no glimpse of the future, so I must ask you to trust me."

Anubis looks up at him, and falls into his embrace. This could very well be the last time he ever held him like this, or be held in this way. He could already feel his heart stopping.

"I don't want you to go." Anubis finds himself sobbing. It's embarrassing, even humiliating, but if his tears will make Horus stay, let him cry a river. "Please, stay with me. Will you not miss our tender nights? The way my body feels? Or the chaste times we walk across the land, hand in hand?"

Horus kisses his forehead, and his thumb brushes against his tears. "I will miss how you feel, I will miss all of it, I will miss you the most. Even now my heart is begging for me to abandon the idea, but it is something I must do. Not only for my family but for Egypt as well. I only ask that you take care of me, whatever form I take."

Anubis is listless that night, gripping onto Horus tightly as if it would prevent him from disappearing, but he knows it was a futile endeavour.

When they hold each other that night, it's filled with new fervour. It may be the last time they felt and touched each other in such a way, and Anubis desperately hopes that they are locked in such an act, that he could trap his lover here with him so he does not forgo everything they have.

The next morning, Horus is gone; spirited away from their bed. Eyes as blue as the day do not greet him when he rouses from sleep.

He rises nonetheless.

__________

It's a strange thing to see a dead king stand in your Hall. As the ruler of the underworld, Anubis has judged many but this was the first time he judged a king.

Osiris was good, kind, and on the people's tongues when they worship.

Anubis is tired. The impact of the loss of his husband was evident to everyone, including himself. So he gets up from his throne and stands aside. He could hear his fellow judges gasping and Osiris himself is wide-eyed at the gesture.

Anubis smiles at him, with bitterness and aged resentment.

"Your throne, my Lord."

__________

It happens after Osiris has settled into his new role. And he proved good at it. Granted, he was much more lenient than Anubis was in judging the departed, but that was not an issue. Osiris's heart went out for mortals.

He's cleaning the Hall when he's notified by a guard that an unfamiliar boat has docked outside the side entrance. He frowns and tells the guard to fetch Osiris as he goes to investigate.

When he sees who it is. His heart nearly stops. It was Isis, but most important was the babe in her arms.

It was Horus.

Isis was not a stranger to the nature of their relationship. Her older brother was a braggart when it came to all things loving after all. So she grips her child in her arms even tighter, because this was not her older brother and nor was it Anubis's husband; it was her son.

Anubis was aware of this. And respectfully stands at a distance. He does not bow to her, why should he? She was much younger than he was.

He stays away from the couple after that. He doesn't even bother to meet Horus again properly.

__________

A few months after, Horus returns with his mother. Now he's older, a prepubescent boy. And he's everything Anubis remembers, the same lips, nose, and smile, only his eyes are what Anubis detests.

Unlike his husband's lovely blue irises, the colour of clear water, this Horus's irises are a harsh gold. Isis has done something to him. Anubis hates it.

He opts to stay away from the boy. He already doesn't like how Isis glares at him as if Anubis would try anything on the boy. That was low. And it was established beforehand, this was not his Horus.

Still, the boy came after him. Seeking him out, waiting for him, holding onto him. Anubis has told the boy off so many times already. The child was stubborn in his endeavours, never relenting. At least there was something familiar in those strange eyes; the burning determination that drove his husband to court him in the first place, and the same one that forced him away.

"Stop following me. Have you not seen how busy I am? I cannot entertain a child," he snaps at the young boy.

Horus only blinks, innocent and unaware. Then he smiles, smiles in a way that makes Anubis's chest cave. "I can't explain it my Lord, but I feel drawn to you."

Anubis cries that night, alone with only hope fluttering about in his head.

__________

When it is time, he helps Horus in ways that he can. He teaches him spells that will be useful in competition, teaches him how to use a bow rather than the melee weapons he trains with all the time. And he notices how bashful Horus becomes at his words of praise. He does not become like this when Isis or his father praises him.

It makes Anubis happy; perhaps there is a piece for him still left in this stranger.

Anubis is genuinely sad when Horus has to leave to finally challenge Set. He understands that Set no longer has to show respect to his older brother, for this was not his older brother but his nephew. That itself opens Horus to new dangers. 

"I wish you well." Is all he has to tell him.

Horus is shy and indecisive in what he wishes to say. But settles for words of gratitude and longing.

Anubis makes a split decision, he kisses Horus on the forehead the same way his husband did on their last night. Isis is not looking, being too preoccupied with her own.

He strokes the young boy's face that has flushed red from the unexpected affection. And Anubis smiles with fondness. No bitterness. Just love and care.

"Fight strongly and bravely, Sweet One."

__________

"My mother is hiding something from me."

He's older now, appearing the same age as his Horus liked to appear. However, that childish sidelock still remains, hanging at the side of his head. He is also Pharaoh of Egypt, something his Horus was not; the fate of being second-borne, yet it was a bigger blessing than kingship.

"What would she keep from you?" Anubis asks, his gaze never leaves the gardens that the open corridor faces.

"I think she keeps many things. It has to do with what Set has said to me."

He stays quiet. Once again he is filled with disdain for Isis.

"He once called me... older brother. Actually, he has called me that on multiple occasions. It seems that even other gods such as Thoth and Bast know this secret." Horus turns to Anubis. "Or is it some joke I am not a part of?"

Anubis debates on answering him. Should he? He feels that it will only be burdensome to him, havingto reclaim everything he gave up for his sister, for all that he worked for, what he is now.

"It is—"

"My love!"

He's interrupted. When they face the cause for interruption, Horus's face lights up the same way he used to for Anubis. He feels his heart collapse in on itself.

Hathor, the goddess of love, comes waddling towards them, heavily pregnant, her face is sweet and flushed.

Anubis watches as Horus leaves his side for his wife. Holding her, with a tender hand on her stomach that was ripe with children.

Bitterness. Again.

It wasn't as though Anubis couldn't give him children. He was worshipped at a female capacity, and they already had a child, Qebhet, the goddess of refreshing water. Horus has never met her, and he wishes that they never do, because this Horus was not her father. 

Anubis quietly slips away.

He's lost his husband long ago, and some could say he's lost him again.

**Author's Note:**

> I DID NOT SPEND DAYS WRITING THIS, I SPENT AN HOUR OR TWO. Which is amazing. But this was really sad :(((((( 
> 
> I wanted to write a happy ending, but then I thought 'nah.'
> 
> 1\. It's generally agreed that Horus was worshipped in many capacities, but two of his most well-known ones are Horus the Elder and Horus the Younger. Horus the Elder being the son of Geb and Nut and the second oldest in the set of five; Osiris, Horus, Set, Isis, and Nephthys. Horus the Younger was the son of Isis with her husband Osiris.  
> 2\. Horus the Elder and Horus the Younger are different capacities at which Horus was worshipped, so no reincarnation or anything of that sort in the actual mythology.  
> 3\. Anubis is actually one of the oldest gods in Egypt. One of his titles is 'First of Westerners' which referred to the West as being the land of the dead because it was where the sun set, implying that he was the ruler of the underworld and the main god of death until he was supplanted by Osiris due to his rise in popularity during the Middle Kingdom, becoming Nephthys's son in the process which was a real downgrade. He got to keep the title though so that's cool.  
> 4\. In a piece of mythology called 'The Black Pig' which was a translated script that I read from Ancient Egyptian Legends by M. A. Murray (famous Egyptologist), it was mentioned that Horus had blue eyes (trust me I was surprised too, I found out after writing a considerable amount of info in my original story). 
> 
> "Whoso gazes into the blue eyes of Horus can see the future reflected there, and both Gods and men seek Horus to learn what shall come to pass."
> 
> That is a direct quote. And quite ironic if you look back at what I wrote.  
> 5\. Everyone loved Osiris. He was really popular, being the god of agriculture and basically all that is good.  
> 6\. There are versions of Horus's rearing that say that Isis imbues Ra's ren (name/identity, gives you power over the person or something) into Horus to make him more powerful. And I thought that was neat. So I connected the two.  
> 7\. Horus the Elder does not have a sidelock, only Horus the Younger has it. It was very signature of him and was also called the 'Horus lock.' I thought it would cool if he kept it even when he grew up.  
> 8\. Osiris was the eldest so he got to be king and rule over the land, Horus was second oldest so he got the sky.  
> 9\. Hathor's position in Horus's life was confusing. Specifically, for Horus the Elder, she was either his mother or wife or daughter and then wife (ew). And you may be thinking, 'wasn't he the son of Geb and Nut?' And you are right. That is the most well-known and agreed version, however, Hathor herself has a lot of confusing mythos around her that I'm not willing to explain. So generally, it was agreed that she was his wife. But I must make an important mention, Hathor was either the wife or daughter of Ra, and Horus was often merged with Ra, which is why there may be overlapping myths.  
> 10\. Hathor is confusing. Just search her up if you're curious to know more. But her Egyptian name (Hwt-Hr) means Domain/Temple of Horus. Most likely referring to her significant connection to the sky rather than the sky god.  
> 11\. Some gods had female counterparts. The dwarf god Bes had a female counterpart named 'Beset.' Similarly, Anubis had a female counterpart named 'Anput' (and if you're wondering why the name is different compared to Bes and Beset, it's because Anubis's Egyptian name was 'Anpu'). It's claimed that Anput was Anubis's consort, like how Bes and Beset were a couple. But it's not... explicitly mentioned. She wasn't even a prominent figure and barely depicted. Personally, I think that she was just a capacity Anubis was worshipped as. But that's just me. 
> 
> Also, for the Bes and Beset thing, that isn't even concrete, other versions say that Bes's wife was Tawaret the hippo goddess. It could be both but eh.  
> 12\. Qebhet (or Kebechet) is the personification of refreshing water, or embalming liquid, whichever. But it was agreed that she offered departed souls water to drink. Her name means 'cooling water.' She was Anubis's daughter, but the mother remains a mystery. A lot of people like to say it was Anput but it was stated that her mother was 'the king's sister' whoever that was. We don't really know. SHE WAS NOT REALLY THE DAUGHTER OF HORUS AND ANUBIS HAHAHA.


End file.
